Fan fic

I labeled this category ‘Fan Fiction’ because this is where I will post replies, responses, and twists, inspired by the incredible, mind blowing talent of other bloggers. Some of my posts will emulate the other bloggers style, some will illustrate the vision that others create, in my mind, with their words and some will be my attempt to place myself in the world they create and provide an alternative voice or point of view.

All are meant to honor their talent and creativity. All are but an echo, and wouldn’t exist if not for the original work. It is not meant to upstage or improve on an other’s work. If the blogger doesn’t give permission, or decides that they don’t want the post to remain active on my site, I will remove it immediately with my apologies.

Sincerely, Tim Blodgett

Low hanging fruit

Image from Wikipedia

It’s day four of NaPoWriMo, so here’s the next installment. I had a busy day doing stuff. I didn’t have much time to compose high minded, philosophical, or edgy poetry. You won’t be transported to an idyllic dreamscape. In fact, you may be dissappointed and un-follow me.

We will take that chance together.

So, without further adieu, I present, for your enjoyment/revulsion…Poem #4

Poem #4

numbers one through nine
arranged in columns and rows
Sudoku haiku

I can hear you groaning, but come on, it was a little bit clever, wasn’t it?

I enjoy solving Sudoku puzzles, it forces my brain to concentrate on something other than the news. Anyway, it helps pass the time.

Thank you, and Good night!

Hello lip!

Before
after

Well, it finally happened! I went bat s*#& crazy and exterminated the caterpillar that has been living under my nose for my whole adult life. It never metamorphosed, or even hinted at transforming into a full on, face dominating, “Dang, wouldja lookit that! You got quite a mustache goin’ on there, fella!”. Not that I wanted a big personal grooming nightmare growing in the middle of my face anyway. Besides, it was getting lonely without a beard to keep it company. Can’t grow one of those either.

So, I announced, “I’m gonna shave my mustache off!”

Rose: “You are not.?!”

Me: “Yes I am!”

Her: (incredulously) “When, right now, you’re not serious are you?!?”

Me: “Yup!”

Her: “Oh my God!” (giggles)

Me: “Whuttaya think?” (me with my finger covering my mustache)

Her: (more giggling and a little snort) “I’ve never seen you without one! I don’t know, you’re going to look weird!”

Me: (looking weird) “Already do.” (Ok, I didn’t say that, but a little embellishment never hurt a story)

Her: “Maddy’s going to freak!” (our daughter who once threatened to dis-own me if I shaved it off) (like she could, hmmph)

I turned my back on Rose’s continued giggling and good-natured (I think) ribbing, and did the deed.

A few minutes later I returned, my lip tingling from fresh air and razor burn. I went to give my bride of thirty years a smooch. She shrank away squealing and wouldn’t let me near her.

My plan worked PERFECTLY! Buah ha ha!

Going, going, OH DAMMIT ALL!

Going… 3/22/20 8:00am
Goinnnggg…….. 3/22/20 11:00am

The giant snowbank in front of my store had slowly diminished over the past couple of weeks until it was but a wee speck of dirty ice lying amid dirty dead grass and dirty winter dirt. All that was needed was a quick raking and a little rain to clean it up and let the grass turn green again.

But, NOOOOOOOoooooooo!

Instead, the wind came out of the north and this happened!

DAMMIT ALL TO H*#&!!! 3/23/20 5:00pm

It’s pretty and all, but it could have waited until next winter. Say la vee, or however they spell it, I’m feeling phonetic right now! This too, shall soon pass and spring will return to the stage.

Changing

Budding, greening spring
peeping, calling, chirping sing
blooming flowering bling

T.Blodgett 3/23/20

That’s all I’ve got for now, I’ve been brain blocked and time crunched lately. Seems I’ll have a little more time on my hands for a while and will be getting back on the blog track.

Please take care of yourselves, mind and body. Reach out if you need a kind word or or an ear to listen. Be well.

The Break-up Poem

So, I have this friend named Grace. She is part of the writing group that convenes weekly at the local Barnes and Noble. We call her ‘Giggles’, cause she does, a lot, and we love her so.

Says Grace; “My boyfriend broke up with me last night.”

Says I; “Are you alright? What happened?”

Said she; “We were up until 5am on Facebook and he said he thought we should end it. He was having a crisis and couldn’t deal.”

Then said I; “How do you feel about it?

And she replied; “Sad, a little confused and a little mad”

Me; “I’ll bet. Let’s write a scathing break-up poem about him!”

Her; Giggling, “Yes!”

What follows is the tragedy inspired chronicle of the end of a romance.

WARNING!!! Angst and ‘F’ bombs ahead!

And, Don’t mess with my friends!

Erasing Grace

It’s not you, it’s me
He said with self-deprecation
And heavy was his sigh
At least that’s what he wrote
In the text that he sent
Announcing the end of us
 
We can be friends
NO, WE CAN’T!
You’re special
FUCK YOU!
I’ll call you
DON’T BOTHER!
See you around
WHAT AN ASSHOLE!
 
The next day, I saw him
And we nervously spoke
Was that a glint
Or a tear
In his crocodile eye
Either way, he’s toast!
 
Is there a chance
NO FUCKING WAY!
I’m sorry
NO YOU’RE NOT!
It doesn’t have to be this way
A TEXT, A FUCKING TEXT!
I was a little scared
FUCKING LOSER!
 
What the hell did you want
When you asked me out
I’m not here to waste my time
If you ever grow a set
And stop acting like a teen
Call me.

Tim Blodgett 2/16/20

That was fun to write and Grace loved it. She doesn’t hate him so the ending is appropriate. Where there’s life, there’s hope. Boy is he lucky that she’s a nice person!

I’ve had a bit of a dry spell lately, sometimes you got it and sometimes you don’t.

Terrible Beauty

During the storm 2/7/20
Moon set, about 4AM, 2/8/20
Thorns of ice at dawn 2/8/20
Morning light 2/8/20
Sunrise Halo
The street I live on about 10AM
Behind my home 2/8/20
Snow and ice 2/8/20
The sun setting behind ice coated trees. 5:00, 2/8/20

Yesterday, February 7th, a spiteful stormy day dawned with freezing rain which turned to sleet midmorning, and finally changed to snow at 12:30. By 1:00, the roads were slick and dangerous. About the same time, the lights flickered, went out, and came back on. The pattern repeated itself several times until 5PM when the lights didn’t come back on. Hundreds of others are in the boat with me wondering when we’ll be rescued.

I went home, a quarter mile away, and got my trusty generator. Ya see, I had a bait tank full of, you guessed it, bait! With the power out and no aeration, they were gonna go belly up in a hurry. I fired it up and saved 40 to 50 pounds of minnows.

There was only one problem, the power didn’t come back on. One hour, two, five, midnight! Feed the generator every couple of hours, check the bait, it’s getting cold in here. 2AM, the wee hours, moon set 4:30 am, the cold hour before dawn, still no power. Did I mention that I spent the night at the store?

Dawn broke clear and cold and unbelievably gorgeous. My poor cameratography didn’t do it justice. No problem though, I’ll get a chance to try again tomorrow morning. As of this writing, 6:38 pm, 2/8/20, the power is still out and the estimated time of restoration is 11:00 pm Sunday night, 2/9/20…

IF we’re lucky!!!

Such is life in upstate New York, I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Requiem for 178

For the want of a bend, a cotter pin was lost.
For the want of a cotter pin, a retaining pin was lost.
For the want of a retaining pin, the gear shift linkage was lost.
For the want of the gear shift linkage, the transmission was lost
For want of the transmission, a school bus was lost.
and all for the want of a cotter pin.

My school bus, my school bus for a cotter pin!

And, so I sat on Rt. 32, yellow, obstructive and immovable with fifteen middle and high school students eager to get home. Thankfully, I was a mere five minutes from the school and a replacement bus was delivered post haste. A student revolt was forestalled, and the mechanics were able to manually shift the bus into gear and drive it back to the garage.

It’s very unusual for a bus to break down. They are meticulously maintained by crack technicians, but, because they are constructed with thousands of parts and pieces, s*#! happens sometimes. I find it amazing that a 29,600-pound behemoth can be laid low by a part that weighs a gram or two. Just goes to show, if it’s not one thing, it’s another. It’s always somethin’.

My beautiful girl repaired and back in her place!

It always seems like I pay double for taking time off. Last weekend, I was at the Am-Jam Tattoo Expo in Syracuse, New York. Consequently, I had to play catch-up, on work and sleep and I neglected my blog, not that the world stopped turning or anything, but it was on my mind. Like it or not, I’m Baaaaack!

You all write a lot and I’m so far behind, I may not catch up. I’ll try though!

I’m working on another short story project that was ‘sposed to be a long story project. At last week’s writer’s workshop, our assignment was to bring the first page or few paragraphs of a story in progress for the others to critique. I’m writing a dark comedy about the extinction of the human species. It was agreed that in order to keep the pace and comic nature of the story, it would work better as a short 5000 to 10,000 word short story, or possibly as a novella. I’m not interested in trying to justify a scientifically plausible argument beyond positing the possibility that what happens, could happen. Ya just hafta go with it.

The story prompt was, ‘Write an apocalyptic story using an idea that you have never read or heard of’, or something like that. It took me about 3 seconds to come up with an idea. It’s taken me two years to get this far. I’ve got a solid idea though, and I want to finish it within a week or two. I don’t know if I’ll submit it for publishing or share it here, yet. If I share it here, most publishers won’t accept it as a submission.

Once it’s done, I may need beta readers…

Hints:

Title: Service with a Smile (unless something better comes to mind)

Mortician’s POV

Viral video

♫And the cats shall inherit the earth♫ (to the tune of 2112)

BUUAAHHHHH HA HA!

Am-Jam wrap up

It’s been a long weekend at the Tattoo Expo and now it’s time to go home. My daughter Madison (Pie), met a whole lotta very interesting and talented people this weekend. She sold some T’s and artwork and made a few bucks. More valuable were the contacts and friends she made.

We were surrounded by busy artists creating works of art on willing flesh and the bee hive buzz of their machines ( machines, not guns!). In the booth next to us was Paul Roe, owner of James Street Parlour, located, where else, on James street in Syracuse. His website is http://www.jamesstreetparlour.com www.jamesstreetparlour.com

Paul hard at work. The banner is a picture of the tattoo on his wife’s back. Yes, that’s his work!

The fella Paul is working on is David who hails from Liverpool NY. David and his wife came to the Expo to have Paul cover an old tattoo that no longer met his standards.

The scorpion who lost his sting.
The old scorpion about to be buried.

David has been a client of Paul for a couple of years. He has a sleeve on his right arm that Paul’s working on that’s about 75% done. They had previously discussed how to cover up the old tattoo and today was the day.

Halftime.

It took about an hour to reach this point. You can still see the scorpion. It took another hour, give or take, to complete.

Finished!

No more scorpion! My last picture isn’t the best but David was very pleased with the results.

This weekend was an adventure, we’re all beat. I’m still a tattoo virgin, but I’m much better informed and will be able to make a better choice if I decide to take the leap in the future.

Pie, George, and I want to thank Jeannie and her crew for the opportunity and for making us feel welcome. You guys are the best!

I hope that you enjoyed the posts!

Day 2 at the Am-Jam Tattoo Exposition

Good arts!
Steve from Syracuse

Believe it or not, the tattoo Steve chose to be his first is the one pictured above! Who decides to get a full back tattoo for his first?????? Steve does!

He came to the Expo to have more detail added. I talked to him about it and he said he wanted to go for total coverage. No, he’s not crazy! He’s a nice guy and I appreciate him letting me take his picture and sharing it. Thanks Steve!

Oh my!
Brains and Brawn
And your little dog too!

This tattoo won the Best Sleeve category. She declined to give her name but her tattoo is phenomenal! The tattoo artist did an incredible job.

The Expo started at noon today and goes till midnight. That’s a lot of talking and by the end, you’re face hurts from talking and smiling. Tomorrow,  we’ll just frown and talk in one word sentences! Buah ha ha!

Anyway, Madison got a lot of positive feedback on her artwork and made a lot of connections with potential customers and other artists. She learned a lot from the other side of the table as a vendor.

We’ll be back at it tomorrow at noon. Good night!

Am-Jam Tattoo

The booth.


6:00 PM and the doors just opened for the 34th annual Am-Jam Tattoo Expo!

Keep your distance




We’re at the Ramada Inn, just off I 90 exit 35 in Syracuse NY. My Pie (the pretty girl in the first picture) is displaying her artwork, selling t-shirts, and taking commissions for custom work.

Just a taste
Another taste

There’s dozens of tattoo artists and piercing artists doing their thing this weekend.

The needles are buzzing and the ink is aflowin’!

You should see it from out here! It’s indescribably beautiful!

If anyone reading this is in the Syracuse area, stop in and say hello. You might decide to embellish yourself and you will definitely see things that can’t be unseen!